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September 19, 2007

DON'T MAKE ME A TARGET

MONDAY 9/10

Mother died today. Or maybe it was yesterday. No wait, my mother is still alive today, and was yesterday.

Because of my mid-July wreck, I had to skip out on all my morning classes to stand in line at 201 Poplar. It was de-humanizing, to say the least, and horribly impractical, a waste of everyone’s time. After waiting in line for well over an hour, I finally got to the clerk, who asked me if I was going to plead guilty. I was, obviously – I rear-ended someone (who, btw, was very nice about it). They processed me, told me what to pay, and sent me on my way.

Here’s the diz-neal: I’m a teacher. I serve a purpose. They took me away from my job when I could have easily clicked a few buttons on the internet or waited on hold for an hour. It took thirty minutes to get through the metal detector. How is this good for anybody?

In my Textuality class, we discussed sections of Hannah Arendt’s THE HUMAN CONDITION. Arendt wants to do away with the idea of the holy man on the mountain. We only know ourselves through other people. We can only know what our story means when it’s finished, and I think there’s a concept of other people relating this story to us, or about us, in order to make sense of it.

But there’s also a strange idea of power in this – it comes through speech and action. One of my fellow students asked about people who can’t communicate: are they powerless. My teacher argued, no, and pointed out Helen Keller, but I disagree. In this typical move away from Platonic Idealism, there’s another move toward a Superman. Whoever speaks and acts with the most competence will rule the world. Even in Arendt’s more liberal take on Nietzsche, there seems to be no room for depravity or frailty, and no other end-goal than (at best) a benevolent Hitler.

Still, Arendt is fascinating. There’s something compelling in her emphasis on the absolute necessity and indispensability of narratives. When Literature, through narratives, itself is linked to a philosophical system, and nothing less than an explanation for the roots of our embroidered psychologies, the philosopher avoids dogmatism. As a student of stories (or “texts,” whatever), arguments like this are very persuasive; it affirms my choice of career. I can see why my teacher (who is very gifted and got very screwed by the U of M in having his bid for tenure rejected) loves her. There’s something I just ordered the book and plan to read it in its entirety.

TUESDAY 9/11

As you have noticed and will only come to notice more, Tuesdays are my day where I seem to endlessly roll a boulder up a hill, like that ubiquitous Greek semi-god. I have an hour a day where I am not sitting somewhere where I have to be, and can’t be anywhere else.

My teaching theory class continues to be very helpful. I like my fellow T.A.s. We’re honest with each other; there’s not a lot of posturing. We share ideas and respect opinions.

My night classes go smoothly, if not brilliantly. I spend most of the time talking about the difference between a “heuristic” and “algorithmic” approach to writing: neither produces the same result, yet the latter has rigid, confining rules. I think some of them get it, the rest want me to stop giving them pep talks and tell them what they have to do to get an A in my class with as little work as possible. As I’ve said many times, I am really excited about teaching the students who genuine want to write better.

We read a section called “Shitty First Drafts” by Anne Lamott from her wonderful book BIRD BY BIRD. It remains the best book on writing I’ve ever read.

Question about THE OFFICE, which I watch as I go to sleep at night: In the last episode of Season 2, Jim reveals his unrequited love to Pam. Yet Roy does not realize this until midway through Season 3, when he proceeds to attacks Jim. Here’s my question (I’ve since had some students give me some clarification): isn’t the whole conceit of THE OFFICE supposed to be that the filmed proceedings are part of a documentary? Is the documentary being aired? Wouldn’t Roy see this on TV and know about it?

The answer I’ve since gotten is this: This is all material for one big documentary, as opposed to a weekly reality show. This makes sense, as the British version was supposed to be aired after the fact. However, it does make it problematic for the logic of the show, which has over 24 hours worth of footage – how are they possibly going to condense this into a show? On the British equivalent, it made sense that a total of 12 or so episodes would be released, SURVIVOR style. But the reality concept may eventually wear itself out. Am I overthinking this?

WEDNESDAY 9/12

Kind of a crap day. For some reason, I sleep from 10:30 to 3 AM and can’t get back to sleep. I pass the time by alternately rereading Foucault and watching LOST IN TRANSLATION. I guess I viewed the movie more in the negative since my subjective disdain for MARIE ANTOINETTE, but rewatching it, I found the film nearly flawless.

My high school students had their typical mid-week shutdown, somewhat revived by their performance of the Balcony Scene from ROMEO AND JULIET, on an actual balcony (and with males playing Juliet, just as in Willy Shakes’ time). Still, their complacency joined with sleep-deprivation abetted my own mid-week funk.

Then I got to my night class and realized I was wearing two different shoes – one black, one brown. I’d love to tell you about all the hilarious comments and stares I got all night, but I had another pair in my car. Disaster averted, yo.

I gave a presentation on a Structuralist reading of AS I LAY DYING. I think my teacher was skeptical. I also don’t think I understand Structuralism, and pretended like I did. I do love AS I LAY DYING.

Yet I left at 8:30 with a solid affirmation that I am where I need to be, doing what I’m supposed to doing, even though I am worked to the point of exhaustion. I really enjoy what I’m doing, even though it’s a job no one in their right mind (re: me) would want to do. The day ends well, and I sleep well.

Really good news I got today to make up for the crappy part:

Miltonic Sources 4:30-5:45 p.m.
Rosecrans Room

Amy Stackhouse (Iona), Chair

Karla Knutson (Kansas)
“John Milton’s Blurring of Generic Boundaries in Paradise Lost:
The Georgic as a Path to Salvation”

John Mulryan (St. Bonaventure)
“Narratalogical Patterns in Dante’s Inferno 26 and Milton’s Paradise Lost 9”

Andrew Black (Memphis)
“Encomium to Eve: A Gorgianic Reading of Paradise Lost”

THURSDAY 9/13

On Tuesday, I assigned my 1010 classes a hyper-conservative-culture-bashing- talking-head article called WIMPS AND BARBARIANS. Read it if you like; it is, to say the least, provocative. I was worried what how my students would respond, as there are several single mothers in my class – a concept the author stereotypically and uncompassionately associates with all the damn problems in the damn world.

It actually intrigued them and opened them up for discussion. Single Mothers defended their own experiences as single mothers, while many others still argued for the need for some type of paternal authority. A lot of good thoughts, and no one got really mad at anyone else. There was a lot of “that’s a good point, but I think . . .” I’m surprised at the maturity of my students; I guessed that reading books like Tom Wolfe’s I AM CHARLOTTE SIMMONS made me think that all college Freshmen would be sex-crazy internet junkies off the farm for the first time. But this group engaged the text, and brought their own thoughts into a serious dialectic.

This happened in both classes, and it gave me the opportunity to break them up into groups to summarize the article. The second class, in particular, attacked it with a surprising vigor. I wanted to let them out early, but they wanted to finish what they were working on.

I like these guys. I really want to travel back to the “pre-college-teacher” me and punch myself in the face for my arrogance: I truly thought my job would be more of a prison guard than a humanities teacher. But both of my classes have proved me wrong. This was, perhaps, the best day of 2007.

FRIDAY 9/14

Got to relax. A relatively peaceful day.

I observed a fellow student teaching. My initial stupid M.O. was to figure out if he was better than me or not. After five minutes, I found the session instructive, and realized such categorizing is fruitless. He is an excellent teacher, even though I don’t know if he has any teaching experience. I wish I had more time to watch my colleagues teach.

SATURDAY 9/15

Even though Mississippi State is playing on TV, and I knew it would be on, I agreed to a Laser-Tag outing with the Ninth Grade class. You may remember the Ninth Grade: they were formerly the Eighth Grade, performers of the mixed-up fairy tale play of last year. Last year, they were dysfunctional, but this year they like each other. As such, the journey they have gone on makes them more or less my favorite class I ever taught. Sadly, I do not get to teach them this year, so it was fun to play Lazer Tag with them. Lazer Tag is fun for about eight minutes, but the average game goes on for twenty.

Then, happily, the class went to Buffalo Wild Wings (yech) where there were many screens of football (yay!) And I got to see MISSISSIPPI STATE BEAT AUBURN!!!!! It was glorious, to say the least - the kind of football success I haven't enjoyed since we beat Ole Miss and Florida in '05 (only to finish 4-7). This thing in my stomach is called hope. I hope it doesn't give me indigestion.

I finished THE LIVES OF OTHERS, finally. It pulled a huge Oscar upset over PANS LABYRINTH, and rightfully so. It’s a great movie about the murky lines between art, love, and politics, and its East German Berlin Wall setting gives it added power. The performances were spectacular, the filmmaking elegant and understated. The movie doesn’t suffer from what most movies like it have: an unfortunate smattering of artifice. It’s contemplative yet suspenseful. A very good movie for those with the patience for it.

SUNDAY 9/16

I went to a Young Life meeting tonight. The other leaders are all married, and all spent some amount of time in my care as a youth leader. It’s excited to see them getting involved, but it also makes me feel very, very old. The kids who are Seniors at ECS would have been in 6th Grade when I started Young Life. That means that the equivalent of time has passed since I started teaching at Westminster as the time I was 12 until the time was 18. That period seemed like an eternity, where this period feels relatively short.

I reread Arendt and had some different thoughts. I think I overemphasized power earlier in an attempt to dismiss her, when actually what she’s talking about is community.

More to come . . . sorry this is so late.

MUSIC I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO:
Spoon’s GA GA GA GA etc. – Behind CLAP, ARCADE FIRE, and WILCO on my list of favorite albums of the year. I’ve listened to it about six times this week. (Thanks Bethan, by the way)

Josh Ritter’s THE HISTORICAL CONQUESTS OF JOSH RITTER – Speaking of Spoon, this new album is curiously similar – much more upbeat than his previously somber and thoughtful efforts. More piano music. I don’t love it, but I do like it. I’m happy that Ritter is producing an album a year, because he really is one of my favorites.

By the way, for all you keeping score at home, you can read my mostly informational class blog to see what kind of stuff goes on in First Year Comp.

| By Andytown | 04:26 PM

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Posted by: bethan at September 21, 2007 08:36 AM

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