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May 16, 2008
Robert Horry once again goes for a cheap shot, once again on a talented star who everyone likes. The man is old and he can do two things: cheap shots and wide-open three pointers. He's perfect for humorless Gregg Popovich's goon squad, the dirtiest bunch of dirtbags this side of the Philadelphia Flyers of the mid-70s or those dudes who tried to cremate James Bond in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. Horry and Bruce Bowen are reprehensible individuals, and the flip-side is that this is one of those A FEW GOOD MEN situations - who ordered the Code Red? Behind their closed doors, I have no doubts that the Spurs coaching staff encourages this behavior. Whatever you can do to get ahead, says Leatherface, er . . . Gregg Popovich.
Of course, David Stern will do nothing about this because Stern is the Neville Chamberlain of the sports world. He stands by while the league turns into a game of "Double Dragon" - which is fine, unless you like basketball. Stern is really good at symbolic gestures, but terrible at dealing with the black marks of the league. And the other folks who could do something about this? Announcers, who generally look the other way and talk about the Spurs' "chemistry."
I have a sad feeling we're going to be doomed to either a Spurs/Cavs or Spurs/Pistons finals again. The ratings will be terrible, the series will be uncompetitive, and the excitement of the early rounds will fade into a game that will unlikely last five minutes before Bruce Bowen tries to elbow somebody in the neck.
There is a solution: New Orleans readers, here's what you can do. BEAT THE HOLY HELL OUT OF ROBERT HORRY. Wait out at his hotel, mob him, and kick the crap out of him. Yes, this once-peaceful blogger urges violent mob action. Like that scene in the Simpsons:
Marge: Homer! Did you tell the mafia they could eliminate my competitors with savage beatings and attempted murder?
Homer: [swallowing beer] In those words? ... Yes.
With our post-Katrina renewed good will, it seems we as a nation have transformed New Orleans into something sadly different than the gaudy cesspool that I loved it as being. Well, you kooky urban cajuns, here's a way to irredeem yourself back to the days of Storyville and Crypt Robbing: go belt-whip one of the San Antonio Spurs.
| By Andytown | 11:36 AM
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Comments
I totally disagree about Bruce Bowen. He is the living, walking, fouling definition of a BALLER (I used the caps for emphasis). We need more Bruce Bowen's in the league. We need guys willing to get dirty and fight for the win. The problem is with the Refs. They are so star struck and so afraid of blowing their whistles incorrectly and facing the wrath of some drunk fans, that they end up being as assertive as Buster Bluth during one of his panic attacks.
Andytown, you are wrong on this one and if I were you, I would watch out for Bruce Bowen's crazy ass. He is just the type of crazy that would be reading this blog and then trying to track you down and start hacking you randomly on the shoulder.
Posted by: Harvey at May 16, 2008 01:30 PM
Wanna hate the Spurs more? Check out this flopfest:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuPQjtpB0m8&e
Posted by: Sean at May 17, 2008 08:06 PM
i really hate them . . . the idea of a lakers-spurs series makes me want to throw up. it's like watching idi amin fight osama bin laden.
Posted by: andytown at May 18, 2008 10:02 AM